Genetic Genealogy with DNAngels

By Aimee Rose-HaynesDirect-to-consumer DNA testing via Ancestry, 23andMe, and other companies has rapidly replaced the arduous tasks of hands-on library research, grave searching, and contacting strangers for the purposes of finding long-lost relatives—a tremendous advance since just a decade ago, when locating biological family or records to validate family lineage was a near impossible feat.

While these tests—which rely on saliva samples—are simple, quick, and affordable, interpreting the results is often a confusing and time-intensive process.

An International Case

In November 2019, I took on a special challenge that illustrated the tenacity needed to solve cases. The case involved a search for records from Panama and Columbia to help determine the client’s origins. Bob called on DNAngels to help him find his mother’s biological father. Ann, his mother, was born in New York in 1961 and raised by an Italian-American mother and stepfather. Her mother refused to tell her who her biological father was and took his name to the grave. Ann thought that was it—that she’d never know her paternal family—and gave up on the thought of trying to find him.

Bob, wanting to help his mother in any way possible, ordered Ancestry DNA tests for her, himself, his sister, and a few other relatives. Once he received the kits, he mailed them back immediately in hopes of finding the man Ann had spent decades wondering about and answering her questions. Was he tall? Was he a nice man? Where was he raised? What were his parents like? What did he look like?

Bob found the results that arrived a few weeks later both exciting and confusing. Ann’s ethnicity report had significant amounts of Spanish, Panamanian, and Columbian heritage. This gave them their first clue about where her biological father could be from. For Bob, looking at the numbers and trying to figure what it all meant was like trying to read a foreign language. He needed help.

The Search
Bob contacted DNAngels in the autumn of 2019 for help solving his mother’s DNA parentage puzzle. I requested access to his family tree and his mother’s DNA and went to work. I started by sorting his matches and separating Ann’s maternal and paternal lines. This was very easy to do since Bob had gotten tests for so many people in the family.

I looked at Ann’s matches and anticipated that the matching process would be difficult. Ann had six matches in the range of 108 centimorgans (cM) to 184 cM. A cM is a unit of measurement representing the length of DNA shared by two DNA matches. Testing companies use an approximate range of roughly 8 cM to  3,700 cM to determine relationships. The higher the cM, the more closely one is related to a match, with 3,700 indicating a parent/child relationship. I began by looking at the trees of all of Ann’s matches to try to isolate a most recent common ancestor (MRCA). Unable to get very far, I updated Bob, with whom I was in daily contact at this point in the process.

Bob informed me that some additional family members had also taken a 23andMe DNA test, and with their login information in hand, I hoped to locate a missing puzzle piece. I had handwritten charts, sticky notes, and highlighted names all over the living room table and floor for nearly two months for this case!

I was able to build a tree based on Ann’s 186 cM match and discovered that Ann’s great grandparents and second great grandparents were the same couple. This indicated that Ann’s 186 cM match was inflated due to endogamy—the custom of marrying only within the limits of a local community, clan, or tribe. So that became another puzzle to work through. Complicating things still further was that two matches on 23andMe were uninterested in helping.

Nonetheless, I persisted, finally finding an MRCA and building the family tree, which included 9 children. I then began linking Ann’s DNA matches to the familial lines that were slowly coming together and soon was able to eliminate three lines, leaving five lines left to trace.

I began researching, reading through US, Columbian, and Panamanian newspaper clippings—obituaries and public records including port arrivals and departures—as well as social media, searching for anything that might help expand this family tree. Bob was also relentless in helping to track and contact anyone in these family lines.

I never imagined I would ever use what I’d learned in Mr. Flores’ high school Spanish class; if I had, I’d have paid more attention back then. Bob sent me messages and voice recordings from potential family members, most of which were in Spanish. Using Google Translate much more than I’d like to admit, I learned a few important things necessary to solve this case.

Bob had discovered that the MRCAs had taken in and adopted two sons. A week later, I discovered that another son had never left Panama. This narrowed the search from five family lines to two and the details finally started to come together.

Now left with two brothers as potential candidates for Ann’s grandfather, Bob and I were excited as we got closer to solving the case. By this point, I’d worked on this daily for about 10 weeks and refused to give up. I continued digging even deeper into these two men, John and William, trying to place either man from Columbia in New York, where he might have met Ann’s grandmother.

William was born in Columbia, and I located a record of him having lived in New York. He actually married someone who was related to Ann’s maternal line. This union proved he had been in the same area as Ann around the time she was born. William had 2 daughters and a special needs son who was eliminated as a suspected biological father. Bob, who had been in contact with one of William’s daughters at this time, had William’s granddaughter tested, which revealed that she shared 236 cM with Ann. This excluded William, because if he’d been Ann’s paternal grandfather, his granddaughter would be expected to match Ann at a half niece relationship (Ann and the granddaughter’s mother would be half-sisters), or about 600 cM to 1,300 cM.

John, the other potential grandfather to Ann, was a soldier in the U.S. Army who was killed in action in Korea. I found a port arrival record showing he came to New York in 1928. I also found a record indicating he married in New York a year later. He would go on to have daughters as well as three sons—Manny, Greg, and Jake.

Manny died in infancy, and Greg couldn’t be located, so Jake was the only possible relative to search for. If Jake were still living, he’d have been roughly 90 years old. Fortunately, one of the cousins Bob had contacted knew that Jake was still living and was in New York. That cousin helped Bob get in touch with Sam, one of Jake’s sons, who was shocked when Bob told him DNAngels had discovered his father might have been Ann’s biological father. He was intrigued and willing to help. Bob sent him a DNA test in late January 2020 to confirm the suspicion.

While Bob waited on pins and needles for Sam’s test to come back, I stayed busy and continued to research and build the family tree. Sam’s test came back on March 6, 2020, revealing that Ann and Sam matched at 1,455 cM, confirming a half sibling relationship. Jake was her biological father. Bob sent a DNA test to Jake, the results of which showed a 3,299 cM—an amount signifying a parent-child relationship. I’d solved Ann’s case after nearly five months.

Ann went from knowing nothing about her paternal line to not only knowing her father’s name but also being able to meet him. She now has 9 half-siblings as well as several aunts, uncles, and cousins. Jake’s family has welcomed her and her family into their lives with open hearts.

Never give up!If you have a question you’d like to see answered in a future column, send it to bkjax@icloud.com.Aimee Rose-Haynes is a lead genetic genealogist for DNAngels and a member of the International Society of Genetic Genealogy and the National Genealogical Society. She has 20 years of traditional genealogy and 6 years of genetic genealogy experience.

Stephanie Leslie and Margaret Renner also contributed to this article.DNAngels, an organization dedicated to DNA results interpretation and more, was founded by Laura Leslie-Olmsted in February 2019 with the goal of helping not parent expected (NPE), adopted, and donor-conceived clients find their biological families. Seven months after being founded, it became a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. In 2019, the team solved approximately 550 cases; in 2020, it solved 697 cases, and it expects to continue to increase those numbers in 2021. DNAngels has a 92% case solve rate, which means the majority of its clients find the answers to their parentage mysteries. In 2021, it is dedicating every month to a specific theme. The theme for January is “Never Give Up” to highlight DNAngels’ dedication to finding answers for the 8% unsolved or “on hold” cases. Learn more about DNAngels at its website, and find it on Twitter @Dnangels4 and on Instagram @Dnangelsorg.




The Coalition for Genetic Truth

It was a movement waiting to happen. It only needed a catalyst. Enter Dr. Laura Schlessinger, an unapologetic bully and “infotainment” therapist masquerading as a helping professional. Host of the Dr. Laura program, heard daily on SiriusXM Radio, Schlessinger bills herself as a “talk radio and podcast host offering no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics, accountability and personal responsibility.” A Los Angeles marriage and family therapist, she’s no stranger to controversy. For example, there was criticism when it became known that in the early days of her television program her staff posed as guests, and outrage when two decades ago she declared that homosexuality was “a biological error” and made racist comments that temporarily derailed her radio career. Now, her SiriusXM program, with an audience of eight million listeners, doesn’t shy away from the sensationalism that ratchets up the ratings.

Recently, she directed her venom at NPEs (not parent expected.)

In the program’s July 7 Call of the Day, “My Mom Never Told Me the Truth,” Torri, the caller seeking Dr. Laura’s help, stated she wasn’t sure how to continue on in her relationship with her mother after recently learning her dad wasn’t her biological father. Schlessinger asked if the man who raised her was nice. After Torri responded that he was, Schlessinger launched into an assumption-filled toxic diatribe. She berated Torri, asking “What in the hell is wrong with you?” When Torri tried to explain she was upset by her mother’s lying, Schlessinger responded by saying, “So what? So what? Who gives a shit?” She continued to defend Torri’s mother while dismissing and disparaging the vulnerable caller, leaving Torri barely able to speak. “I seriously would rather smack you across the head than anything else right now, you ungrateful little twit. You insensitive, ungrateful twit.” When Torri, after a stunned silence, tried to respond, Schlessinger interrupted. “You’re a twit for saying that. You’re a twit for repeating it.” She continued for several excruciating minutes to bully and berate her caller.

Word of the episode spread quickly among adoptees, donor-conceived people, NPEs, and others affected by separation from biological family. As more and more people listened to the podcast, outrage surged from one Facebook group to another like jolts of electricity. Soon, members responded to Schlessinger on her website and on social media, many demanding an apology, some clamoring for a boycott of her program, and others calling for the radio host to be stripped of her license to practice psychotherapy. The complaints appeared to fall on deaf ears as the complainers were quickly blocked from Schlessinger’s social media accounts. A post on her Facebook page overrun with comments about the episode, however, was quickly shut down.

Therapists soon weighed in as well. Jodi Klugman-Rabb, LMFT, wrote an article about Schlessinger’s breach of provider ethics, and Eve Sturges, LMFT and host of a podcast, “Everything’s Relative,” released an “emergency” episode to bring awareness to the issue.

I grew angrier by the day, says DNAngels’ search angel Ashley Frazier, “and on July 1, I put out a call in all the groups I’m in that it was time to speak up and let our voices be heard. Torri’s call was a rallying cry for members of our communities, who are often faced with rejection and the judgment of people in their lives who share the views of Dr. Laura, simply for wanting to know the truth about their genetic identity.”

When a friend shared with her a link to the show, Erin Cosentino, of the Facebook group NPE Only: After the Discovery, couldn’t bring herself to listen at first. “It took me a few hours to work up the courage,” she says. Reading the comments first inspired her to move ahead. “So many people were in support of Dr. Laura’s comments, and I was sickened by that, so I listened.” She and her friends spent days discussing the podcast and debating about what to do and how to educate the people who supported Dr. Laura. Then she saw the post written by Ashley Frazier. “It was so in line with everything my friends and I had been discussing that I asked permission to share it. I was meant to see it. It was meant to be. Within minutes we were planning.”

“We spent the evening messaging about strategy,” says Frazier. “Our plans quickly evolved into the two of us starting a group together, and by morning we had a group chat with more than 30 people discussing bigger plans than we could ever have imagined. Within 24 hours, we had our own private group formed with nearly 100 members brainstorming and offering to help achieve our mission.”

What they created that evening is the Coalition for Genetic Truth, which has united 27 NPE, adoptee, late discovery adoptee (LDA), search angel, and donor/surrogacy conceived support groups with combined memberships totaling more than 105,000 people.

The coalition now has both a public and a private group on Facebook whose 400 members include individuals from the various communities as well as their allies. Frazier and Cosentino quickly assembled a team of friends and fellow advocates to moderate the groups and represent all of the various communities with a stake in issues related to genetic identity—Laura Leslie, Emily Ripper, Kayla Branch, Annie Persico, Cindy Olson McQuay, Cassandra Adams, and Kathleen Shea Kirstein.

“The initial goal of the coalition was to raise our voices to speak out against Schlessinger’s abusive treatment of Torri,” says Frazier. “But we very quickly realized there were more effective ways to spread our mission in a positive manner,” adds Cosentino.

At first they focused on sending email messages, making phone calls, issuing a press release, and creating a petition that’s now been signed by more than 1,300 people calling for an apology from Schlessinger. “Realistically, we know we’re not going to get an apology. This step was simply a springboard to get to our greater mission, which is to be a united voice that gets the community and the public talking and recognizing that there’s a need for education about the importance of knowing one’s genetic identity,” she adds. It’s important, she says, for the burgeoning population of identity-disenfranchised people to be able to find their way to these communities “and know that there are tens of thousands of people in our support groups who can truly understand what they’re going through, give advice based on experience, and support them without judgment. As hard as our friends and families try to be supportive, they can’t put themselves in our shoes and often make hurtful and dismissive comments, such as ‘This doesn’t change anything,’ or ‘Your dad’s still your dad.”

Equally important as connecting community members to resources, says Frazier, “is to educate our known and newfound family members and friends about how they can better support us during this difficult time. There’s also a huge need to educate mental health professionals about this important issue and enable them to provide resources to their clients.”

Join the public or private Facebook group and follow the coalition on Twitter @GeneticTruth and on Instagram at #coalitionforgenetictruth.Among the members of the Coalition for Genetic Truth are the following.*

ADVOCACY

Right To Know On Twitter and Instagram @righttoknowus and on Facebook 

COUNSELING/THERAPY

Eve Sturges, LMFT: a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. On Twitter and Instagram: @evesturges

NPE Counseling Collective: group of therapists specializing in best therapeutic practices for the NPE community.

Jodi Klugman-Rabb, LMFT: a licensed marriage and family therapist and creator of Parental Identity Discovery (see NPE Counseling Training below). On Twitter @JodiRabb, Instagram @jkrabbmft, and Facebook

FACEBOOK GROUPS

Note: Not all groups are open to everyone. Check the “About” section of each group for restrictions and to determine whether you are eligible to become a member.

Adoptees, NPEs, Donor Conceived & Other Genetic Identity Seekers

Adoptees Only: Found/Reunion The Next Chapter On Instagram @adopteesonly

Adoption Search & Support by DNAngels — Adoptee/LDA

DNAngels Search & Support — NPE/DC

DNA Surprises

Donor Conceived People

Donor Conceived People in/Around NY

Friends of Donor Conceived Individuals

Hiraeth Only: Longing for Home

The Mindful NPE On Twitter and Instagram @TheMindfulNPE

MPE Cross Cultural Connections

MPE Jewish Identity Surprise

NPE Counseling Collective

NPE Only: After the Discovery On Twitter @NPEsOnly1

Pacific NW MPE Life

GENETIC GENEALOGISTS/SEARCH ANGELS

DNAngels On Twitter @DNAngels4 and Instagram @DNAngelsorg

Enlighten DNA: Email: Truth@enlightenDNA.org

MEDIA

Severance Magazine On Twitter and Instagram @Severancemag and Facebook

NPE COUNSELING TRAINING

Parental Identity Discovery

PODCASTS

NPE Stories, hosted by Lily Wood

Everything’s Relative with Eve Sturges

Sex, Lies & the Truth, hosted by Jodi Klugman-Rabb and Christina Bryan Fitzgibbons

Find more resources about adoptees, NPEs, donor-conceived people, and others with genetic identity concerns in the “Resources” tab top right here.BEFORE YOU GO…

Look on our home page for more articles about NPEs, adoptees, and genetic genealogy.

  • Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
  • Let us know what you want to see in Severance. Send a message to bkjax@icloud.com.
  • Tell us your stories. See guidelines. 
  • If you’re an NPE, adoptee, or donor conceived person; a sibling of someone in one of these groups; or a helping professional (for example, a therapist or genetic genealogist) you’re welcome to join our private Facebook group.
  • Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram @Severancemag.



Q&A with Author Libby Copeland

Libby Copeland is an award-winning journalist, former Washington Post staff author and editor, and author of The Lost Family: How DNA Testing is Upending Who We Are, published in March 2020 by Abrams Press.How long did you spend researching and writing The Lost Family?

Altogether, about three years. I first wrote about Alice Collins Plebuch’s fascinating genetic detective story in The Washington Post in early 2017. The response to that story, which was hundreds of emails from other consumers sharing intimate and moving DNA testing stories, convinced me the topic needed to be a book, and I started researching for the proposal soon afterward. But the bulk of the work was done during 2018 and 2019. In The Lost Family, I revisit Alice’s story and tell it much more fully. I was able to travel to Washington State and spend time with her, as well as do historical research going back a hundred years to illuminate her family’s astonishing story. And as I follow her story, I also tell many other tales from people I Interviewed—wrenching, moving stories of how this technology is changing how we see ourselves and how we talk to one another, not to mention how we think about truth and the past.

What so intrigued you initially that you were willing to devote so much time and attention to this issue? Did you realize early on how complex the subject would be?

I was really intrigued by the idea that questions about genetic origins and family could lead individuals, families, and the culture at large to deep explorations of essential human questions about identity, what makes a family, and how we define ethnicity. The science was indeed quite complex, and so were the experiences of people affected by this technology. I got to interview a lot of genetic genealogists about their techniques and the history of the field, and to tour a DNA testing lab and speak with a number of scientists and historians about human genetics and autosomal DNA testing. But really, it was the deeply human stories that moved me most. The emails from readers and the stories I heard from other people I interviewed sometimes moved me to tears. There were stories of adoptees searching for family, of donor-conceived individuals defining and building relationships with half-siblings and donor fathers, of people discovering NPEs and struggling to incorporate that news with everything they’d known before. I was really interested in the idea that this technology was touching the most intimate parts of people’s lives and changing them forever. I was intrigued, too, by the idea that the past is not really over. It’s still very present in people’s lives, and DNA testing—and all that it can uncover—is prompting people to reassess what they thought they knew about things that happened 50, 60, 70 years ago.

Of all the seekers you spoke with, what story touched you most?

There are so many stories! It’s hard to pick one. There’s a very moving story in the book about a foundling who was left on a doorstep in the 1960s and adopted. Years later, she went looking for her biological family in order to know where she’d come from and to understand the context for having been given up. Her name is Jacqui. The genetic genealogist CeCe Moore helped Jacqui and suggested I interview her because she thought Jacqui’s story was so poignant and because she wanted people to see the range of ways that DNA testing stories can play out. Jacqui’s story is reflective of the fact that, as one mental health counselor put it to me, reunions aren’t always “happy” ones, even though those tend to be predominant in news stories.

Jacqui’s sisters on both sides have largely declined to have relationships with her; one set of sisters even decided they don’t believe that she’s their relative, despite clear evidence from DNA results. There are certainly happy reunion stories, and I write about a number of them in the book. But Jacqui’s story is equally important for people to read because she expresses her desire for connection with her siblings in a heartfelt, evocative, and relatable way. And yet, her truth is so threatening to her siblings that they decline and even deny the connection. There’s no easy solution to this kind of problem, and the complexity of it—and the way genetic relations who are essentially strangers can feel themselves to have hugely different interests from one another—illustrates how much we need to grapple with the legacy of what DNA testing is uncovering. I would argue there needs to be vastly better support for the millions of Americans trying to navigate these situations.

As you talk to people about DNA testing (consumers and potential consumers) what have you found to be most misunderstood?

I think if it hasn’t happened to you, it can be difficult to understand just how disorienting it is to discover that your own genetic origins are not what you long believed. From my interviews with people over months and sometimes years, I’ve come to understand that these revelations are not rapidly processed and incorporated into a person’s reality; indeed, the process of understanding a profound surprise go on for years, perhaps for a lifetime. A DNA surprise can pose questions about a consumer’s relationship with her parents, her understanding of her childhood, her sense of where she belongs, and her orientation on the world. These revelations can be traumatic, even if people are ultimately glad to know the truth about themselves. Those two things—experiencing pain as a result of a revelation yet not wishing to un-know it—might appear to be in conflict with one another, but they’re not.

On the other hand, the perspectives of those being sought out—I refer to them as “seekees”—are not told nearly as much, and are not as well understood. Those who don’t want contact with genetic kin and don’t want these revelations uncovered are much less likely to want to tell their stories. There can be happy reunions between parents and children or between siblings, but sometimes there’s a painful clash of interests. A seeker approaching her genetic father may be seen as threatening by that father, or by that father’s wife, or by the children he raised. There may be shame, guilt, and embarrassment on the part of the genetic father or mother. The decision not to have a relationship with a child or to even speak about having had a child may have been made fifty, sixty years ago, in far different and perhaps desperate circumstances. These are such sad and difficult situations for everyone. In a perfect world, there would be family mediators to help with those initial conversations, and mental health counselors to help everyone—those discovering family secrets, and the keepers of those family secrets. I am heartened to see a growing community of mental health professionals specializing in DNA surprises.

See our review of The Lost Family.BEFORE YOU GO…

Look on our home page for more articles about the search and reunion, NPEs, adoptees, and genetic genealogy.

  • Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
  • Let us know what you want to see in Severance. Send a message to bkjax@icloud.com.
  • Tell us your stories. See guidelines. 
  • If you’re an NPE, adoptee, or donor conceived person; a sibling of someone in one of these groups; or a helping professional (for example, a therapist or genetic genealogist) you’re welcome to join our private Facebook group.
  • Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram @Severancemag.



DNA Testing for Newbies: Where to Start

When it comes to DNA tests for finding family or confirming suspected relationships, the choices can be bewildering. As direct-to-consumer DNA testing has exploded in popularity, more companies are marketing tests, and each company offers different features. Those features can be very important once your results are in, but preferences about them shouldn’t form the basis of your initial choice of test. Your first objective should be to get your DNA in as many databases as possible to increase your likelihood of success.

There are three steps to getting started. Know what kind of test to take, choose which test to take first, and then make the most of the results.There are three types of DNA tests used for genealogical purposes. Autosomal DNA tests look at the DNA we inherit from each of our parents, which is recombined from generation to generation. A number of companies offer autosomal DNA testing, but for purposes of finding family, you need only pay attention to the big four: AncestryDNA, 23andMe, FamilyTreeDNA (FDTNA), and MyHeritage. (If among your testing goals is learning more information about your health risks, only two of these companies’ autosomal tests provide information about health traits: 23andMe and, a newcomer as of this May, MyHeritage.

Autosomal DNA testing offers you a breakdown of your ethnic heritage, but more important, it provides you with matches to DNA relatives — the pieces you’ll need to put together the puzzle of your origins. If you’re lucky, when your results come in you’ll find at the top of your match list the parent or sibling for whom you’re searching. Once uncommon, it happens more and more as the databases grow. But it’s not the most likely scenario, so don’t be disheartened if you don’t immediately find a close family match. You can still learn to explore relationships among your closest matches, which will also yield pieces to the puzzle. (Look for more on that in future articles.)

There are two additional types of DNA tests for genealogical purposes, available only from FTDNA, both of which trace a direct line of your ancestry. Mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA) traces the direct female line (from mother to mother to mother) and Y-DNA traces the father’s direct line. While mitochondrial testing is of little use to individuals trying to find close biological relatives, Y-DNA testing may have value. Because the Y chromosome is handed down intact and essentially unaltered from father to son generation after generation, and since men generally keep their father’s surnames, Y-DNA testing may help men discover their family names, which, when combined with genealogical research, may yield important clues. There are various levels of Y-DNA tests, each analyzing a different number of genetic markers, ranging from 37 to 700. Learn more about this here.You may be tempted to choose one test and call it a day. But it’s an approach that won’t help you if the person you’re looking for has tested at a different company. Consider these scenarios: You’re looking for your biological father. You test at AncestryDNA but get no parent match because he’s tested at 23andMe. Or your bio-dad hasn’t tested and you’ll need to rely on cousin matches to figure out his identity. One close cousin on your bio-dad’s paternal side has tested at MyHeritage, and another at FTDNA. You’ve tested at Ancestry, so you don’t know about either of those close cousins who could hold the key to the identity of your parent. It’s like waiting on the corner to meet someone only to find they’re on another corner.

One solution, if money isn’t an object and you’re very impatient for the broadest possible results, is to test immediately at all four of the leading companies. But for most people, there’s a better way to achieve the same results over an only slightly longer period of time. Most experts agree that all journeys begin with an AncestryDNA test, because with more than 15 million testers in Ancestry’s database, you’re casting the widest net in the biggest pool of testers. Your DNA will be tested against that of far more individuals than with any other test.

Purchase an AncestryDNA test and sign up at the same time for a free account that will allow you to begin to build trees. Later, in order to make the most of your matches’ trees, you’ll need to purchase a basic subscription to the service or use it at a local library. AncestryDNA tests go on sale frequently, typically before holidays, so if Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or St. Patrick’s Day isn’t far off, you can save a bit by waiting.You might be tempted to sit back and wait the six to eight weeks it takes for the results to roll in, but don’t. The wait can seem interminable, and being proactive will help keep you from chewing your nails and wondering if you’ll find what you’re looking for. Instead, roll up your sleeves and start to learn about how to make the most of your results once they’re available. Contrary to what DNA test commercials would have you believe, the test doesn’t do all the work. Unless you were blessed with a science brain, understanding DNA will be like learning a new language or taking up a musical instrument.

As mentioned previously, if close matches don’t appear right way, newcomers may become discouraged and think all they can do is wait and watch. But with some knowledge and, perhaps, sweat and tears, there’s a great deal that can be learned from second, third, and even fourth cousin matches. You’ll need to explore relationships among matches, often with no direct input from them. You’ll also need to create family trees based on those relationships, building and building the trees until patterns and connections emerge. Finding family can take time, and there’s definitely a learning curve, but the more knowledge you acquire about both DNA and genealogy while you’re waiting and afterward, the more successful your search is likely to be.

Ancestry Academy offers a collection of free tutorials, and you can search YouTube for helpful videos. Search in particular for videos by Ancestry’s Crista Cowan, known as the Barefoot Genealogist. Look for articles, blogs, books, and other tools that will help you get up to speed in our Resources section.

If you were adopted, other steps you can take while waiting include signing up at adoption reunion registries. Start with the International Soundex Reunion Registry and search online for state registries. And visit DNA Adoption, which has excellent resources and offers online classes about how to use DNA in a search.

In addition, if you do not live in one of the states that permit partial or full access to your adoption records (see a list here), you can contact your state or the agency that handled your adoption to request your non-identifying information.

In most cases you won’t have any information about the family you’re hoping to find, but if you do, begin creating a tree on Ancestry.com. And join the DNA Detectives Facebook group, which offers a wealth of information and support. You’ll learn from members who share their knowledge as well as from search assistants who can offer more advanced guidance and help. Another group, Search Squad, can help with search matters unrelated to DNA, and there are numerous other groups that can boost you farther up the learning curve, including DNA Newbie, DNA for the Donor Conceived, and more. In these groups you can ask questions and gain support as you see how others manage the stress of the search. When you join, be sure to look for posted files that often have valuable information.So that you don’t have to shell out cold cash to all the testing companies in order to find DNA matches in all possible pools, you can upload your Ancestry results (your raw DNA) for free to MyHeritage, FamilyTreeDNA, and Gedmatch Genesis — a database where individuals can compare results with those of others who’ve tested at various companies. Follow these five steps.

  1. Download your raw DNA file from AncestryDNA using these instructions. Scroll down to “Requesting Your DNA Data.”
  2. Transfer your raw DNA to Gedmatch Genesis. Register and then login. Be sure to read carefully the information about opting in or out of making your information available to law enforcement and consider researching the controversial issue carefully before you decide. Here’s how to upload your DNA.
  3. Transfer your raw data to MyHeritage. The company offers a free transfer that allows you to receive all DNA matches and contact them, use the chromosome browser, and receive an ethnicity report, but you’ll need to pay a fee of $29 for additional features, such as the ability to view trees and share matches’ DNA. That fee is waived for MyHeritage subscribers.
  4. Transfer your raw DNA to FamilyTreeDNA. You’ll receive free access to your DNA matches and the Family Finder Matrix, which allows you to compare relationships among 10 selected matches in a grid matrix. For an additional $19, you’ll get access to all features, including the chromosome browsers and ethnicity reports.
  5. If the above steps haven’t yielded the information you seek, if you want to cover all bases, or if you also want access to information about health risks, test at 23andMe.

More than likely you’ve already experienced a shock of some sort, you suspect that a family relationship isn’t what you believed it to be, or you wish to confirm an unexpected relationship. But everyone considering taking a DNA test should be aware that test results can be a minefield of surprises — even beyond those you may already suspect. Consider carefully why you’re testing, what you hope to gain, and balance that against the risk of upset any further surprising information might bring, and try to have support in place should you receive troubling results.

Many consumers have questions about the privacy of genetic material they submit. Some are concerned as well about the growing practice of using DNA to help in criminal investigations. Carefully read each testing site’s terms of service before testing. If you have any lingering concerns, contact the company before sending in your sample. To learn more about best practices and guidelines when testing, visit Genetic Genealogy Standards.Look for more articles here soon on what else you can do when your test results come in, techniques for making the most of those results, and about professionals who may be able to help.