Linda knew it was her only chance. If it didn’t work, she’d have to face something she feared more than anything else. Her daddy.
It was June 1963. She was 16 years old and had found out two weeks earlier she was pregnant. But tonight she was on a first date with an Iowa hayseed stationed at the Air Force base in her hometown, Blytheville, Arkansas. Dave was 19 and had his own car. A bright red 1960 Plymouth Fury that had a goddamn record player in it. She couldn’t believe it.
He wasn’t driving his own car. Instead, his best friend, Joe, drove them on their double date. Linda and Dave were in the back seat, Joe and his date, Peggy, Linda’s cousin, were in the front.
Later in the evening, Joe and Peggy were making out. But then again, so were Linda and Dave. But Linda couldn’t get over the fact that they were in the back seat of his own car.
“I just don’t get it,” she whispered as she pulled her face away from his. “If it’s your car, why’s he driving?”
“Heck, I don’t know. He asked me if he could drive and I let him. What’s the big deal? There’s more room in the back seat.” He laughed and kissed her and guided her back onto the red leather seats with white trim.
It really bothered Linda. Why would a man let another man drive his bad ass car? She looked at him as Joe put another record on—“Baby It’s You” by The Shirelles. She settled back into his arms. Then things really got hot and heavy. He tried to unbutton her soft white blouse but he couldn’t quite manage with one hand, so she helped, slightly exasperated. When his hand slid up her skirt, up to her thigh, she didn’t stop him. Just for a second.
“Dave, honey, we need to go for a walk.”
“But, what?”
“Listen to me, I need to tell you something.”
When she opened the door, the light came on, blinding everyone.
“What the hell you guys doing back there?” Joe hollered.
“Don’t look,” Peggy yelled.
Of course that made everyone look as she covered her bare breasts with both arms.
“Y’all just go back to doing whatever y’all was doing. We’re just going for a walk.”
“At a drive-in?” Joe asked.
“Yeah, at a drive-in. Come on Dave,” Linda said, yanking his arm and pulling him out of the back seat of his own damn car.
“I just gotta tell you something before we go any further,” Linda said as they sat on the bench underneath the projector beam just outside the concession stand. They’d been making out again but she pushed him away.
“Alright, tell me already.”
“Well, I ain’t told no one this yet. No one knows. Well except for—uh never mind.” She started crying.
“What is it? Tell me.”
“I can’t. I just can’t. You’ll hate me.”
“How could I hate you, we just met yesterday?”
“You promise you won’t hate me? Or think I’m horrible?”
“Promise.”
“Well, I’m pregnant.”
“Whoa, really? Are you married?”
“No, I ain’t married. I’m only 16. See, I knew you’d hate me.” And she cried some more.
Eventually, she told him the whole story. This older man down the street invited her over when his wife was out of town. He didn’t tell her about the wife being out of town until after she arrived and after she drank her first beer. One thing led to another, and now she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do. Her dad was going to kill her. And probably the neighbor too.
“Well, he’s gonna have to marry you.” Dave said.
“He’s already married, idiot,” she snapped. But he looked hurt so she continued, softer. “I’m sorry. You’re not an idiot. I’m just upset. If I’m not married, daddy’s gonna have a fit. Probably kick me out.” She cried into his chest and put her hand on his thigh. He rubbed her back and patted her head. This led to them making out, but she started crying again and pulled away.
“I’m sorry. I just gotta figure this out.” She looked out into the distance, away from the screen beyond the cars with attached speakers hanging in their windows.
When it seemed like he couldn’t handle the silent tension any longer, he said, “Well, I’ll just marry you.
“Are you serious?” she asked.
“Yes. Yes I am.”
“Really? You’d do that for me?”
“Yeah, I can’t let you have a baby alone. I’ll raise it as my own.”
She grabbed his face and kissed him hard. Real hard. Then they went back to the car and made love in the back seat. No condom needed.
***
March, 1965
Linda placed her toddler, Cindy, into the crib, hoping she would finally take a nap. Dave was in the living room of the duplex the Air Force gave them. Sometimes she wondered if he married her just to get out of the barracks. He was asleep on the couch when she walked in.
“Dave, honey, I’m going to the PX to get some cigarettes and bread. You listen for Cindy now, okay?”
“Shoot, what time is it?” He bolted up out of his nap.
“It’s only 2. I’ll be right back. You won’t be late for your field training.”
At the PX, she needed to get two carton of cigarettes, Winstons for her and Pall Mall non-filtered for Dave. When she reached for the Winstons, her hand touched another hand. An airman who’d been reaching at the same time. He smiled at her and motioned for her to take them.
“Ladies first” he said.
“That’s a mighty big assumption you’re making.”
He laughed, and that’s when she noticed his eyes. His sky-blue eyes that sparkled and touched her somewhere deep in her soul. He had blonde hair like hers.
“Now, I ain’t used to being out funnied. Especially by someone as beautiful as yourself.”
She blushed, grabbed the carton of Winstons and reached for the Pall Malls.
“You sound like you’re from the South. Around here I’m so used to hearing all them Yankees from up North talking.”
“Yep, I was born in Lubbock Texas. Spent some time out west, too, but the accent is pure Texas.” He grabbed his Winstons and held them up to her. “You got good taste in cigarettes. Well except for those. I don’t see you smoking a non-filter. Did you go and marry one of them Yankees?”
“Yeah, Private Dave Johnson,” she blushed.
“Don’t reckon I know ’im. You from around here?”
“Yeah, born and bred. Daddy’s a mechanic out at the Chevy dealer on Highway 18.”
They walked toward the cashier. He stopped and picked up a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
“You drinking all them yourself?”
“Maybe, depends on how many show up to my going away party.”
“Where you going?”
“Home. I’ve done my time. Good bye Uncle Sam, hello freedom. Especially with that shit brewing over in Vietnam. I’m outta here.”
“Well it was good meeting you…Sergeant…”
“Blair, Bobby Blair. And you are?”
“Linda Johnson.” And she blushed again.
“Well Linda Johnson, your husband is a very lucky man.”
“Thanks.”
“Y’all should come to my party. It’s gonna be at the NCO club tonight.”
“Oh, we can’t, his unit is going out in the field later.”
“Well hot damn, this is my lucky day. We’ll see you at 7 sharp. Dress nice.”
And then he walked away with a smile before she could even object.
***
“Alright, honey, don’t work too hard out there marching all around,” Linda said to Dave as he sat Cindy down and kissed his wife on the cheek.
“Maybe you guys can go over to your parents for dinner.”
She walked over and held the screen door open for him so he could get his backpack through the door.
“We’ll see. Maybe I’ll just get some sleep without all your snoring going on. Don’t play any poker, you always lose. Bye, love you.”
He walked out to his car, a blue and white Rambler. Linda was well back inside when the screen door finally pulled itself closed.
Inside, she picked up the phone and dialed Peggy’s number. She opened the freezer door and pulled out a cherry Popsicle for Cindy.
“Hi Peggy. Can you watch Cindy tonight?”
She heard the screen door shut. When she turned around she saw him grab his hat off the couch.
“Forgot my hat,” he said cautiously.
“Oh honey, you scared the shit outta me.” She didn’t know if she was busted.
“Sorry.”
“Bye,” she said, relieved he hadn’t heard her on the phone.
He walked toward the door but stopped.
“Why do you need a babysitter?”
“I’m tired. I told you. I can’t sleep at all with you snoring all damn night. Please just go before you’re late.”
After he left, she had to explain to Peggy why she needed a babysitter.
“Oh, I just wanna spend some time with momma. Just me and her.”
“Why didn’t you just tell Dave that?”
“Because he’s jealous of my mom. I’ve told you that.”
“Uhhh, no you haven’t.”
“Well, I guess we just don’t talk enough. Yeah, he don’t want me hanging out with momma anymore. Can you believe that? Listen I’ll only be an hour or so.
***
Before walking into the NCO club, Linda waited outside, smoking a cigarette. When a group of four walked in, she got right behind them, making it look like she was part of their group.
Their eyes locked from across the room. He was at the bar talking with a couple guys. He watched her walk toward him. Her dress fit snugly around her small waist. Her lipstick matched the dress. Red and hot.
Hello Mrs. Johnson. I’m so glad y’all could make it. He put his hand on her shoulder to guide her to the bar. The electricity between them was palpable.
Bob leaned in close so no one could hear.
“You look amazing. And your eyes. Not only are you funnier than me but your eyes just might be bluer then mine.”
She blushed.
“If we were to ever make a baby, well I tell you what, that baby would have the bluest eyes…”
“And a divorced mom.”
“You know what I think?”
“What do you think, Mister?”
“I think you blush at all the right moments,” which made her blush again.
An hour later, they were parked at the levy on the Mississippi River, watching the stars and occasionally a passing barge. They laid on the hood of his Black Dodge Dart. Linda could feel the heat from the engine on her back.
“What do you mean, you never seen a shooting star? What the hell y’all doing up here in Arkansas? I tell you what.”
He reached out to hold her hand. She rolled over on her side, facing him.
“Why you looking at me? We’re supposed to be looking for shooting stars.”
“I only wanted to look at you. I’m just so happy right now.”
“Is that those three beers talking or Mrs. Johnson?”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Ma’am, I believe it’s your name.”
“Dave’s a good guy and all but … well … I ain’t never told no one else this. Except for him. I was pregnant when we met and he said he’d marry me and raise another man’s kid. So that tells you what kinda man he is. And I appreciate it, I really do. But ….”
“But what?”
“But we’ve been together almost two years, and he ain’t never brought me to the damn river to look at stars.”
“Honey, I’m just trying to get in your pants.”
She laughed.
“I’m just playing the slow game,” he added.
“You’re ‘bout as slow as a damn ol’ freight train. I’m being serious. It’s that I’m so bored out of my mind. He just doesn’t do it for me.”
“Do what for you, cook?”
“Bobby Blair, I am trying to be serious. What I am saying is my life isn’t what I thought it was gonna be. And tonight, well it’s just special. I needed this so bad.”
“Well I needed this too.” He pulled a whiskey bottle he’d been sipping out of up to his lips and took a swig. He offered it to her but she shook her head. “See something happened I haven’t told anyone either.”
“What?” She squeezed his hand and touched his face with her other hand.
“My daddy just died.”
“Oh my gosh, when?”
“Couple weeks ago.”
“I’m so sorry. Give me a hug. An honest hug.”
“And now I’m out here at the Mississippi River giving this beautiful married woman an honest hug, whatever the hell that is.”
They embraced. He put his mouth into the warmth of her neck and breathed her in.
“And I’m really sorry, hon.”
“Well don’t be. He was a sonabitch if there ever was one. Drank himself to death. He used to spend all our money on damn booze and staying out all night with no count women and then come home and beat my momma. Thank God he left us. Though we were broke and had nowhere to live, we were free from that bastard. I didn’t even ask for leave so I could go to his funeral.”
He rolled over on his back and pulled her over to him. Her head rested on his chest and she could hear his heartbeat. She felt his lungs puff out as he stifled a cry and then pretended to cough.
“Look at that….” He pointed at the sky. And sure enough just where he was pointing she saw her first shooting star.
Ten minutes later, they made love on the hood of that car.
And 56 years later, I found out he was my dad.
Don Anderson is an NPE who lives with his wonderful wife in Los Angeles. He’s a TV promo producer, documentary filmmaker, and a small business owner. He found out on September 19, 2021 that his dad wasn’t his dad. Life will never be the same. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s the creator and host of the podcast Missing Pieces — NPE Life.
