August 2021

By Sara Easterly

Adoptees are used to others telling our adoption stories—to us and for us. This makes sense to some degree, considering many of our adoptions took place at a preverbal time in our lives. And it takes time, developmentally, to grasp the concept of adoption—let alone make sense of relinquishment’s effects on us.

But at a certain point in our growth process, it becomes essential that we, as adoptees, take the lead with our stories. We’re the survivors of relinquishment. We know adoption from the inside. We alone have experienced the complicated mix of emotions swirling inside—many of which we’ve hidden or pressed down upon out of overwhelm, denial, peacekeeping, shame, fear, or because we prioritize our feelings last. Our voices matter—for our emotional health and for that of the adoption narrative.

Sometimes we don’t fully understand our emotions, or their depth, until we put pen to paper and our unconscious feels free to flow. But organizing our thoughts into story form—through journaling, memoir, essay, fiction, or poetry—can help us make sense of the past with an eye toward future growth.

What’s more, others in the adoption constellation need our perspectives. Fellow adoptees need to know they’re not alone. Each time we write and share our stories, we’re helping normalize dynamics that others may be struggling with in isolation. Historically, adoptive parents’ voices have taken center stage. But without adoptee voices, adoption-related literature falls flat (and very often gets it wrong). Our words can and do make a difference.

Supporting Adoptee Voices

It’s for these reasons that Adoptee Voices came to be—offering writing groups for adult adoptees and creating another space for publishing adoptee essays, poetry, and articles. Through the groups, Adoptee Voices offers:

• Dedicated writing time
• Adoption-specific writing prompts
• Writing accountability
• Community with other adoptee writers
• Publishing and writing advice

With Fall on the horizon, Adoptee Voices is preparing to launch its next writing groups for adoptees:

Craft & Publication-Oriented Writing Group: Eight Wednesdays Starting September 8th

This writing group meets and writes together online, with a focus on the craft of storytelling, writing with publication in mind, and marketing to agents, publishers, and readers. Adoptees can write from weekly prompts or bring their current works-in-progress. After writing together in community, we break into small groups for sharing our writing and giving/receiving feedback. Led by Sara Easterly (Searching for Mom), Ridghaus (Six Word Adoption Memoirs), and Alice Stephens (Famous Adopted People).

Writing as an Emotional Playground: Eight Mondays Starting September 13th

Meeting and writing together online, this group is focused on writing as an emotional playground. Adoptees can write from adoption-specific prompts designed to help explore the unconscious and play with emotions through words. Small groups help to create a supportive environment and build community. Led by Sara Easterly (Searching for Mom), Jennifer Dyan Ghoston (The Truth So Far and Once Upon a Time…in Adopteeland), and Kate Murphy, LCSW (The Couchblog).

For a taste of the writing that other adoptee-writers have shared from the writing groups, visit adoptee-voices.com/e-zine.

Registration for both Fall groups is currently open, but spaces are limited. Adult adoptees can find information and register by visiting adoptee-voices.com.

Sara Easterly is an adoptee and award-winning author of books and essays. Her memoir, Searching for Mom, won a Gold Medal in the Illumination Book Awards, among many other honors. Her essays and articles have been published by Psychology Today, Dear Adoption, Red Letter Christians, Feminine Collective, Her View From Home, Godspace, and others. Find her online at saraeasterly.com, on Facebook, on Instagram @saraeasterlyauthor, and on Twitter @saraeasterly.

Read her essay on Severance here.

BEFORE YOU GO…

Look on our home page for more articles and essays about NPEs, adoptees, and genetic genealogy.

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