• About
    • About Severance
    • From the Editor
    • Submission Guidelines: How to Contribute
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • abandonment
    • Adoption
    • Advocacy
    • DNA & Genetic Genealogy
    • DNA Surprises
    • Donor Conception
    • Family Secrets
    • Genetics & Heredity
    • Interviews & Profiles
    • Late Discovery Adoptees
    • Psychology & Therapy
    • NPEs/MPEs
    • Search & Reunion
  • Essays & Fiction
    • abandonment
    • Adoption
    • DNA surprises
    • Donor Conception
    • NPEs/MPEs
    • Late Discovery Adoptees
    • Search & Reunion
    • Secrets & Lies
  • Short Takes
    • Short Takes: Books
    • Short Takes: Film & Video
    • Short Takes: People, News & Research
    • Short Takes: Podcasts & Radio
  • Self Care & Coping
    • Coping Strategies
    • Self-Care
  • Speak Out
    • Micro-Memoirs
    • Your Video Stories
  • Resources
    • Start Here
    • Abandonment
    • Adoption
    • DNA & Genetic Genealogy
    • Donor Conception
    • Genetics & Heredity
    • Late-Discovery Adoptees
    • NPEs (Not parent expected) & MPEs (Misattributed parentage experience)
    • Psychology & Therapy & Coaching
    • Search & Reunion
    • Secrets & Lies
    • Self-Care
Severance Magazine
Monthly Archives

June 2024

    BooksShort Takes

    Let Us Be Greater

    by bkjax June 24, 2024

    By Cindy Olson McQuay

    Michelle Madrid, now an adoptee empowerment coach, was adopted by an American couple when she was a baby in the United Kingdom. Growing up, she experienced the complex emotional challenges and disturbances familiar to many adoptees, including anger, distrust, and feelings of unworthiness. She addresses these issues, as well as other often unaddressed repercussions such as PTSD, suicide risk, and fear of abandonment, in her book, Let us Be Greater: A Gentle, Guided Path to Healing for Adoptees.

     

    Even though the book is addressed to adoptees, I highly recommend it for everyone. It’s an enlightening guide to personal and collective transformation. Combining introspective reflection with actionable advice, Madrid inspires readers to grow personally while contributing to their communities and the world.

     

    Organized into sections on self-improvement and social responsibility, Madrid uses personal anecdotes, motivational insights, and practical exercises to guide readers on a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and leadership. Her engaging and accessible writing, filled with real-life examples, adds authenticity and depth to her message. Each chapter concludes with practical exercises and reflection prompts to help readers apply the concepts and track their progress.

    It’s an inspiring guide for anyone looking to improve themselves and make a difference. Madrid’s comprehensive approach to personal development, engaging style, and actionable advice make this book a valuable resource for readers at any stage of their growth journey. Whether for overcoming personal challenges, developing stronger relationships, or taking on leadership roles, this book provides the tools and inspiration needed to achieve your goals and contribute to the greater good.

    Cindy Olson McQuay was adopted at three months old, and that has always been a core part of her identity. From a young age, she wanted to uncover her origins and understand her story. Her adoptive parents fully supported that quest. When she turned 18 and tried to obtain her adoption records and original birth certificate, she faced significant challenges common to many in the adoption community. This struggle ignited her passion for advocating for the rights and needs of adopted people. She works to raise awareness about the trauma of separation, promote family preservation, and expose flaws in the adoption industry and foster care system. With the rise of DNA testing, she became a search angel, particularly helping Amerasians identify their American GI birth fathers. She has a wonderful husband of 32 years with whom she’s raised three remarkable adult children who, along with their three grandchildren, bring them immense joy. She pours her heart and soul into Healing Retreats for Adoptees, DCPs, LDAs, and NPEs; Hiraeth Hope & Healing, Inc., which she co-founded in 2019.

    June 24, 2024 0 comments
    0 FacebookTwitter
  • Short TakesShort Takes: People, News & Research

    Hiraeth Hope & Healing Retreats

    by bkjax June 3, 2024
    June 3, 2024

    In 2024, Hiraeth Hope & Healing, Inc. (HH&H) will celebrate its fifth year of bringing together people from all walks of life who’ve been affected by adoption trauma and surprise DNA test results revealing that one or both of their parents are not biologically related to them—typically referred to as NPE (not parent expected). In these five years, it’s served more than 300 people on their DNA journeys, primarily through the hosting of three small group in-person retreats each year (with a maximum of 30 attendees), as well as bi-weekly Zoom meetings, weekly Book Club Zoom meetings, and several Facebook groups and group chats. After another successful retreat in April 2024, in Surf City, New Jersey, HH&H is preparing for its next gathering, to be held in Scottsdale, Arizona July 2024. As always, attendees will gather in a fully appointed luxury home for five days and four nights of laughter and tears as they meet new friends and old and participate in sessions with a team of facilitators to heal in a welcome and safe setting. During the retreat, attendees will take part in both small and large group sessions with licensed clinicians and therapists to learn how to recognize and reconcile the trauma, confusion, and upheaval of both adoption and shocking DNA discoveries. As one of the HH&H founders, Erin Cosentino, always says, “Nothing has changed, yet EVERYTHING has changed.” But it’s not all serious. Attendees also heal in the mundane moments, such as a morning cup of coffee with a new friend or while helping prepare dinner. They spend evenings together playing games like Cards Against Humanity and Jenga or split off in small groups chatting by the pool or gathered around the fire pit enjoying adult libations. HH&H’s motto, Togetherness Heals, shines in these day to day activities attendees enjoy with each other. Click on image to read more.

    Read more
    0 FacebookTwitter
  • Short TakesShort Takes: People, News & Research

    Second Annual DNA Surprise Retreat

    by bkjax June 1, 2024
    June 1, 2024

    Second Annual DNA Surprise Retreat June 1, 2024 Following the success of last year’s event, the second annual DNA Surprise Retreat is set to take place from September 19-22, 2024, at the picturesque Saguaro Lake Ranch outside of Phoenix, AZ. This retreat is designed for those who have experienced life-altering discoveries through consumer DNA tests, providing a supportive and healing community. The inaugural retreat was met with overwhelmingly positive feedback, with participants finding solace, understanding, and camaraderie among peers who shared similar experiences. At the 2024 retreat, attendees will benefit from expert-led sessions on topics such as generational trauma, parts work, and betrayal trauma. In addition, the retreat will offer rejuvenating yoga and breathwork sessions led by seasoned facilitators, ensuring a holistic approach to healing. Co-founder Alexis Hourselt, who faced her own DNA surprise in 2021 upon learning that the man who raised her was not her biological father, expressed the transformative impact of these retreats. “My DNA surprise completely upended my sense of identity,” said Hourselt. “Navigating new family relationships and feeling a profound sense of betrayal was incredibly isolating. But through this community, I found that I was not alone.” Hourselt co-founded the retreat with Debbie Olson, who discovered in 2019 that her estranged father was alive after being told he had died. “We’re thrilled to continue creating spaces where people can come together, share their stories, and heal,” said Olson. Hourselt and Olson are committed to continuing this vital support network. “No one expects their world to be turned upside down by a DNA test,” said Hourselt. “It’s essential for people to know they are not alone and that there is a community ready to help.” For more information and to register for the retreat, visit www.dnasurpriseretreat.com.

    Read more
    0 FacebookTwitter

http://www.reckoningwiththeprimalwound.com

What’s New on Severance

  • There Was a Secret
  • Should Health Care Professionals Tell the Truth About Paternity?
  • 20 Questions and a World of Stories
  • The Wizard and I
  • Rabbit Holes and Hobbits
  • We Three

After a DNA Surprise: 10 Things No One Wants to Hear

https://www.righttoknow.us

Call Right To Know’s resource hotline to talk with another MPE be paired with a mentor, get resources, or just talk.

Original Birth Certificates to California Born Adoptees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erHylYLHqXg&t=4s

Search

Tags

abandonment adoptee adoptees adoptee stories adoption advocacy biological family birthmother books DNA DNA surprise DNA surprises DNA test DNA tests donor conceived donor conception essay Essays family secrets genetic genealogy genetic identity genetics grief heredity Late Discovery Adoptee late discovery adoptees Late Discovery Adoption meditation memoir MPE MPEs NPE NPEs podcasts psychology Q&A rejection research reunion search and reunion secrets and lies self care therapy transracial adoption trauma

Recommended Reading

The Lost Family: How DNA is Upending Who We Are, by Libby Copeland. Check our News & Reviews section for a review of this excellent book about the impact on the culture of direct-to-consumer DNA testing.

What Happens When Parents Wait to Tell a Child He’s Adopted

“A new study suggests that learning about one’s adoption after a certain age could lead to lower life satisfaction in the future.”

Janine Vance Searches for the Truth About Korean Adoptees

“Imagine for a minute that you don’t know who your mother is. Now imagine that you are that mother, and you don’t know what became of your daughter.”

Who’s Your Daddy? The Twisty History of Paternity Testing

“Salon talks to author Nara B. Milanich about why in the politics of paternity and science, context is everything.”

What Separation from Parents Does to Children: ‘The Effect is Catastrophic”

“This is what happens inside children when they are forcibly separated from their parents.”

Truth: A Love Story

“A scientist discovers his own family’s secret.”

Dear Therapist: The Child My Daughter Put Up for Adoption is Now Rejecting Her

“She thought that her daughter would want to meet her one day. Twenty-five years later, that’s not true.”

I’m Adopted and Pro-Choice. Stop Using My Story for the Anti-Abortion Agenda. Stephanie Drenka’s essay for the Huffington Post looks at the way adoptees have made unwilling participants in conversations about abortion.

Archives

  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019

@2019 - Severance Magazine

Severance Magazine
  • About
    • About Severance
    • From the Editor
    • Submission Guidelines: How to Contribute
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • abandonment
    • Adoption
    • Advocacy
    • DNA & Genetic Genealogy
    • DNA Surprises
    • Donor Conception
    • Family Secrets
    • Genetics & Heredity
    • Interviews & Profiles
    • Late Discovery Adoptees
    • Psychology & Therapy
    • NPEs/MPEs
    • Search & Reunion
  • Essays & Fiction
    • abandonment
    • Adoption
    • DNA surprises
    • Donor Conception
    • NPEs/MPEs
    • Late Discovery Adoptees
    • Search & Reunion
    • Secrets & Lies
  • Short Takes
    • Short Takes: Books
    • Short Takes: Film & Video
    • Short Takes: People, News & Research
    • Short Takes: Podcasts & Radio
  • Self Care & Coping
    • Coping Strategies
    • Self-Care
  • Speak Out
    • Micro-Memoirs
    • Your Video Stories
  • Resources
    • Start Here
    • Abandonment
    • Adoption
    • DNA & Genetic Genealogy
    • Donor Conception
    • Genetics & Heredity
    • Late-Discovery Adoptees
    • NPEs (Not parent expected) & MPEs (Misattributed parentage experience)
    • Psychology & Therapy & Coaching
    • Search & Reunion
    • Secrets & Lies
    • Self-Care
Severance Magazine
  • About
    • About Severance
    • From the Editor
    • Submission Guidelines: How to Contribute
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • abandonment
    • Adoption
    • Advocacy
    • DNA & Genetic Genealogy
    • DNA Surprises
    • Donor Conception
    • Family Secrets
    • Genetics & Heredity
    • Interviews & Profiles
    • Late Discovery Adoptees
    • Psychology & Therapy
    • NPEs/MPEs
    • Search & Reunion
  • Essays & Fiction
    • abandonment
    • Adoption
    • DNA surprises
    • Donor Conception
    • NPEs/MPEs
    • Late Discovery Adoptees
    • Search & Reunion
    • Secrets & Lies
  • Short Takes
    • Short Takes: Books
    • Short Takes: Film & Video
    • Short Takes: People, News & Research
    • Short Takes: Podcasts & Radio
  • Self Care & Coping
    • Coping Strategies
    • Self-Care
  • Speak Out
    • Micro-Memoirs
    • Your Video Stories
  • Resources
    • Start Here
    • Abandonment
    • Adoption
    • DNA & Genetic Genealogy
    • Donor Conception
    • Genetics & Heredity
    • Late-Discovery Adoptees
    • NPEs (Not parent expected) & MPEs (Misattributed parentage experience)
    • Psychology & Therapy & Coaching
    • Search & Reunion
    • Secrets & Lies
    • Self-Care
@2019 - Severance Magazine