My Mom Jayne

Thank you for this. I’m adopted, but found 2 NPEs when searching for my father ( who is still unknown) . One was adopted but even his OBC had the incorrect father, another knew her raising father was not her biological father, but never knew he was a man she’d called an uncle , because by marriage he was but by blood he was her father…. And plenty of other family members knew and were told to keep it quiet. She was glad to finally know, but he had passed by the time we found out… This shame and secrecy compounds and carries on for generations. People deserve the TRUTH of who they are. I “get” not sitting down a 3 year old whose just lost her mother and saying “oh I am your legal father, but someone else created you,” but once she knew the truth 25 years later, he basically gaslit her and imposed silence. Do I think he’s evil? No. Did he love her? Absolutely , but love is also telling the truth and not continuing to silence or shame someone, even unintentionally. Anyway, I just hope people will see this and see that the truth is one of the most loving things you can give someone and that while family can have many meanings, we all deserve our true genetic history and it’s so important in forming a secure sense of identiy. Great writing. Thank you so much. Let’s all keep sharing our truths so other will do the same.